


Spooky Surprises

by whatsacleverusername



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Birthday, Companionable Snark, Dialogue Heavy, Drabble, Fluff and Humor, Jon and Eddie Made Up a While Ago, Light Angst, M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, not really but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 09:48:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23349445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatsacleverusername/pseuds/whatsacleverusername
Summary: I meant to write this in November of 2019, but at least I get to add in my partner's character now :p
Relationships: Jonathan Crane & Edward Nygma, Jonathan Crane & Harleen Quinzel, Jonathan Crane & Original Character(s), Jonathan Crane & Pamela Isley, Jonathan Crane & Selina Kyle, Jonathan Crane/Bookworm
Kudos: 9





	Spooky Surprises

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sam_Sandwich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Sandwich/gifts).



It's very early in the morning, before the sun has even begun to rise, that a slight but out of place sound wakes Jonathan. Immediately on high alert, shaking the grogginess of his first hours of sleep in three days from his mind, he trains his unnaturally strong hearing on the sound. Shuffling. Getting closer, slowly but surely. None of his crows are cawing, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's safe. More than likely the opposite. He subconsciously presses his thin body further against his still sleeping partner's, his long fingers holding his side tightly, making Edwin shift uncomfortably and whine. Though the noise was quiet, it feels deafening in the night, Jonathan quickly noting the other sound has stopped. He can hear more than one person breathing besides the occupants of the bed, a quiet voice distant enough to be at the top of the stairwell. Only a few yards from their bedroom.

Grimacing, Jonathan slowly, _agonizingly slowly_ raises his head from his pillow, silently hoping none of his joints decide to pop as he carefully moves himself slightly down the bed, able to rest his forehead on Edwin's shoulder and better listen to the intruders. While he _can_ see in the low light of the room, he can't discern anything but vague shapes without his glasses, and he doesn't dare risk reaching for them, this handicap only exacerbating his hearing. He can hear every creaking floorboard, the not so distant traffic on east 11th street, every inch of the sheet and blanket shifting as Edwin's breathing raises and lowers his chest, his own pulse rapidly beating in his body like a second heart in his skull, his own lack of audible breath, the sound of metal clicking just outside the door-

A sharp gasp tearing itself into Jonathan's forcefully still lungs, he jumps up onto his knees on the bed just as the door swings open, straddling Edwin and holding his body above and away from the inventor's, making sure to block his head and torso. He squeezes his eyes shut and tenses his body, waiting for the sharp sound and burning pain, once again silently hoping with all his will that he has enough body mass to stop the bullet should the assailant come closer, that Edwin will be alright, that-

"Are we interrupting something?" The snarky voice startles Jonathan more than the expected gunshot, making him whip his head around despite knowing full well he won't be able to see the speaker, quickly closing his eyes when the light is switched on.

"Eddie? Why're-?" Edwin asks, sleep and shaking nerves causing his words to slur.

"Happy Birthday, Cranie!" Another voice shouts. "Surprise!"

" _Harleen_?" Jonathan asks incredulously.

Attempting to follow up with another, more furious question, a bang makes Jonathan jump again, flinching when something light and papery lands across his head.

Shaking his hair free of the whatever-it-is, pointedly ignoring the round of hushed laughter at his flinch, Jonathan sits up and shouts, "what the hell was-"

"They're streamers, _Honigbär_ ," Edwin says, sitting up as well to hand Jonathan his glasses.

Rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand, Jonathan puts them on and shoots another glare at the not two but _five_ friendly intruders in the doorway, Selina obviously enjoying the exchange with a silent yet telling smirk, Tucker and Pamela looking cautiously amused as well.

Rolling his eyes and getting off of Edwin, Jonathan scratches his chin and asks, "what _are_ y'all doing here?"

Wisely restraining a snicker at the escaped southernism, Edward says, "our dear Harley thought it would be worth all our time to try and _successfully_ surprise you for your birthday. I have to say I'm amazed it worked."

"You didn't surprise me," Jonathan denies.

"Oh yeah?" Pamela challenges.

" _Yes_ ," Jonathan says.

"So you were waiting on us to walk in on you jumping Winnie's bones?" Selina snidely asks.

Bristling with a glare, Jonathan snaps, "I was not-"

"Let's go!" Harleen interrupts, running over to pull on Edwin and Jonathan's arms. "We have presents, and me an' TV made'ja pecan pie! C'moon!"

Chuckling fondly, Edwin kisses Jonathan's cheek and gets up, saying, "let's not keep them waiting, dearest."

Other than giving them all a look, Jonathan doesn't move.

"Well?" Edward asks.

Clenching his jaw in irritation, Jonathan grumbles, "let me put my pants on. _Without_ an audience."

"So you were-" Pamela begins to tease.

" _I am in my underwear_ ," Jonathan corrects.

Before anyone can push anymore of his buttons, Edwin herds the visitors out the door, saying, "he'll be down in a moment I'm sure, let's give him some privacy, come along now-"

As soon as they're all down the stairs, Jonathan huffs to himself and grabs his jeans from the floor on his side of the bed. Pulling them on, he mutters to himself, quietly cussing about the visitors, being caught off guard, and having to acknowledge the dreaded date in general. He'd much rather sleep the day away and forget it exists, but… If it'll make them happy. Fastening his belt and slipping on his house shoes, he shoots one last glare at the digital clock before shuffling out into the hall to descend the stairs as well, a few bones popping as is customary to bring in the new day. Hopefully they'll at least let him sit down for most of this.


End file.
